I haven't written in a very long time. It's not a pleasant thought, when it crosses my mind. Mind you, the cause is really as simple as homework, distractions, etc. Either that or simply not being in the mood when I want to be, and being in it when I have another obligation. That being said, I feel like I need to write this, if only because it might just help me relax.

I'm very weary. It's an unusual sensation for me, and I'm not used to it. My body isn't tired, but my brain keeps asking for a break. Unfortunately, legions of word and page count stand in my way, but I've decided that for a few minutes, I can afford to simply write things that come to mind.

This week a bunch of evangelists visited the college. They stood and preached, and the things they said bothered me enough to challenge one of them - something I've never done before. Essentially, the man's message was "If you believe in evolution, you are cruel and evil, since you believe only in the survival of the fittest. You don't think doctors should heal their patients, and you believe rape and murder are fine." I asked him if he truly wanted to equivocate a 100-year old scientific theory with moral beliefs - he said yes. The details are unnecessary, but he lost the debate at the point where he had to bring in Nazis to counter my statements.

It felt good and bad at the same time. I realized that I could do nothing to help this person, who was so absorbed in what he perceived to be reality that he would exclude and damn all who didn't follow his path. I hated and reviled this man because he was taking such a beautiful concept like faith, and twisting it into some kind of monstrous tool. So I fought back with my own faith, faith in order, reason, truth, and kindness. I wonder if that was the right decision? In truth, my own attack only served to demean this man, self-righteous though he may be, in front of others.

What separates the warriors from the monsters they fight? Are we mere Don Quixote's, attacking windmills we mistake for ogres? Can any self-righteousness truly be justified? I realized perhaps my one constant fear throughout my life - that I may someday become the monsters I hate. I hope that I do maintain a balance of goodwill and courage, defending my beliefs while allowing others to do the same. And I hope that as the years go by, that I only become wiser and closer to the ideas I hold dear.

I won't say that I was wrong, but I won't say that I was right.